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Quotations about the Internet

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The Internet is the world's largest library. It's just that all the books are on the floor. ~John Allen Paulos

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. ~Jon Stewart

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. ~Mitch Kapor, variation of a quote by Jerome Weisner (Getting an education from MIT is like taking a drink from a fire hose.)

The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow. ~Bill Gates

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. ~Author Unknown

National borders aren't even speed bumps on the information superhighway. ~Tim May

Nowadays, anyone who cannot speak English and is incapable of using the Internet is regarded as backward. ~Al-Waleed bin Talal

Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the Net, it looks like very soon everyone on Earth will have 15 megabytes of fame. ~M.G. Sriram

A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. ~Author Unknown

What, exactly, is the Internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a "modem" can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo. ~Dave Barry

I have an almost religious zeal — not for technology per se, but for the Internet which is for me, the nervous system of mother Earth, which I see as a living creature, linking up. ~Dan Millman

The Internet isn't free. It just has an economy that makes no sense to capitalism. ~Brad Shapcott

While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our config.sys settings. ~Dave Barry

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. ~Andrew Brown

Internet: absolute communication, absolute isolation. ~Paul Carvel

Emails we can read, say no to 'send a receipt', mark as unread, categorise, label and put in a folder whilst drinking tea and thinking about other things. It's hard work making the right noises and facial expressions in response to an in-person reminder. ~Neil Cottingham, 2013

Information on the Internet is subject to the same rules and regulations as conversation at a bar. ~George Lundberg

Television to brainwash us all and Internet to eliminate any last resistance. ~Paul Carvel

Advances in computer technology and the Internet have changed the way America works, learns, and communicates. The Internet has become an integral part of America's economic, political, and social life. ~Bill Clinton

One of the Internet's strengths is its ability to help consumers find the right needle in a digital haystack of data. ~Jared Sandberg

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true. ~Robert Wilensky, 1996

You can't take something off the Internet — it's like taking pee out of a pool. ~Author Unknown, 1995

The Internet is based on a layered, end-to-end model that allows people at each level of the network to innovate free of any central control. By placing intelligence at the edges rather than control in the middle of the network, the Internet has created a platform for innovation. ~Vinton Cerf

Hooked on Internet? Help is a just a click away. ~Author Unknown

Entire new continents can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary to what you may have heard, the Internet does not operate at the speed of light; it operates at the speed of the Department of Motor Vehicles. ~Dave Barry, Dave Barry in Cyberspace

The Internet has been the most fundamental change during my lifetime and for hundreds of years. ~Rupert Murdoch

The advent of electronic mail is fostering a revival of "the familiar letter." ~Author Unknown

The Internet is clearly about more than sports scores and email now. It's a place where we can conduct our democracy and get very large amounts of data to very large numbers of people. ~Frank James

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. ~Penn Jillett

The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other. ~Dave Barry

The Internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn't understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had. ~Eric Schmidt

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. ~Clifford Stoll

Warning: the Internet may contain traces of nuts. ~Author Unknown

Twitter is just a multiplayer notepad. ~Ben Maddox

Twitter as a personalized graffiti wall; pithy aphorisms simmer in the subconscious, bubble up in a new blaze of dayglow calligraphy. ~David J. Beard (1947–2016), 2007 December 10th

The big dispute between the government and Microsoft concerns the Internet "browser," which is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later. As you can imagine, the potential market for this service is huge, so Microsoft would like you to use its browser, and not somebody else's. ~Dave Barry, 1998

Science fiction does not remain fiction for long. And certainly not on the Internet. ~Vinton Cerf

Blogs seem to have two magnetic poles, one attracting friends, the other repulsing relatives. ~Robert Brault,

Sometimes I imagine a get-together where I introduce my family to my blogger friends and my blogger friends introduce my family to me. ~Robert Brault,

Five years ago, we thought of the Web as a new medium, not a new economy. ~Clement Mok

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. ~Dave Barry

What do you call a doctor that fixes websites? A URLologist. ~Author Unknown

The Internet is the most powerful magnifier of slack ever invented. ~Author Unknown

Almost overnight, the Internet's gone from a technical wonder to a business must. ~Bill Schrader

Laying in bed this morning contemplating how amazing it would be if somehow Oscar Wilde and Mae West could twitter from the grave. ~Dita Von Teese

Cutting through the acronyms and argot that littered the hearing testimony, the Internet may fairly be regarded as a never-ending worldwide conversation. The government may not, through the CDA, interrupt that conversation. ~Stewart Dalzell, ruling on the constitutionality of the Communications Decency Act, 1996

The Net treats censorship as a defect and routes around it. ~John Gilmore, 1993

#undernocircumstances shud sum1 feel its ok 2 tlk lik this. You have 140 characters. Use them and stop typing like you're illiterate. ~@Lord_Voldemort7

A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the Universe and move bits of it about. ~Douglas Adams

The Internet interprets the US Congress as system damage and routes around it. ~Jeanne DeVoto, take-off on a quote by John Gilmore

I believe that social media's greatest gift is in providing every person the forum to be themselves, speak their heart & soul. ~Jeb Dickerson,

The Internet is full. Go away. ~Author Unknown

If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine. ~Rob Stampfli

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn. ~Dave Barry

If you have a web site, it makes your small business look big. ~Natalie Sequera

The Internet is not just one thing, it's a collection of things — of numerous communications networks that all speak the same digital language. ~Jim Clark

The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect. ~Esther Dyson

The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it. ~William Gibson

Every bit of software wants you to be "social." What ever happened to being grumpy and alone in your writer's fugue? ~Doug Green

Let's get one thing clear: I'm not gonna explain my tweets. The whole point of Twitter is that there's too few characters to explain stuff. ~Corey Mohler, @existentialcoms

A 140 space buffer
I fear isn't even enough for
a couple of lines
of the jingle-ing kind
and a lim'rick'll never be stuffed there.
~David J. Beard (1947–2016), tweet, 2008 February 8th

On Twitter we get excited if someone follows us. In real life we get really scared and run away. ~Author Unknown

No matter how well you know the rules of netiquette, you will eventually offend someone who doesn't. ~Don Rittner

There are 5,000 great people for every jerk on Usenet. But that still is a lot of jerks. Proceed with caution and eyes wide open. ~Don Rittner

The greatest thing about the internet is that you can quote something and just totally make up the source. ~Benjamin Franklin

The problem with internet quotes is that you cannot always depend on their accuracy. ~Abraham Lincoln

I'm a woofer, not a tweeter; a writer, not a telegrapher; an essayist, not an aphorist. ~Richard E. Turner (1937–2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. "The Mudge," 2009 tweet, @Grammarmudge

A bird's song is beautiful, but if it never stops you feel like shooting it. ~Laura Ainsley, on over-zealous tweeting

The best tweets are the ones you never make. ~Corey Mohler, @existentialcoms

[W]e're into a whole new world with the Internet, and whenever we sort of cross another plateau in our development, there are those who seek to take advantage of it. So this is a replay of things that have happened throughout our history. ~Bill Clinton

The only social networking I did this weekend was with my family. I actually let the battery on my laptop completely die. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon, (2009 tweet, @wildthyme)

A blogger is constantly looking over his shoulder, for fear that he is not being followed. ~Robert Brault,

After all, it was designed to withstand nuclear war, not just the puny huffs and puffs of politicians and religious fanatics. ~Denise Caruso, about the Internet

And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing. ~Scott Adams

First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure. ~Douglas Adams

I had a life once... now I have a computer. ~Author Unknown

Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. ~Andy Grove

Sooner or later the Internet will become profitable. It's an old story played before by canals, railroads and automobiles. ~Paul A. Samuelson

The age of technology has both revived the use of writing and provided ever more reasons for its spiritual solace. Emails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. ~Anna Quindlen

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the World Wide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page. ~Bill Clinton, 1996

Using Twitter like a dandelion uses the wind... Spreading messages, not exactly knowing where they might go, some taking roots and blossoming, some making a adventurous journey through the air but not falling on fertile ground. So what? A process of beauty and joy. ~Detlef Cordes,

The message for business people contemplating their place in cyberspace is simple and direct: get linked or get lost. ~Vic Sussman and Kenan Pollack

On the internet even our private is public. ~Terri Guillemets

I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society. ~Scott Adams

In cyberspace, the First Amendment is a local ordinance. ~John Perry Barlow

Describing the Internet as the Network of Networks is like calling the Space Shuttle a thing that flies. ~John Lester

A blog is a message in a bottle, both in purpose and likely readership. ~Robert Brault,

I am at a loss to figure out how to rid my e-mail of those bottom-feeders of the electronic world, the generators of spam.... If I were Emperor of the World, I would lock all the spammers in a room and force them to watch nothing but TV commercials for the rest of their miserable lives, and I would condemn the people who respond to spammers to do nothing but clean the toilets in this room. ~Richard E. Turner (1937–2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. "The Mudge," from "The Curmudgeon Sounds Off: A Plague of Spam," July 2004

The Internet is an important cultural phenomenon, but that doesn't excuse its failure to comply with basic economic laws. The problem is that it was devised by a bunch of hippie anarchists. ~Thomas Nolle

There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network. ~Guy Almes

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity. ~Patrick Murray

YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook, are merging. The new program will be called YouTwitFace. ~Author Unknown

Internet users are flocking to the Vatican's new website (so they say). It turns out though, that most visitors are there to confess after visiting the Cindy Crawford site. Now, the faithful don't have to kiss the Pope's ring — you just double click on it. ~Author Unknown

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. ~Dan Quayle, attributed

A blogger is an average person who happens to have a need to count his friends every half hour. ~Robert Brault,

The Internet is the trailer park for the soul. ~Marilyn Manson

The world is poised on the cusp of an economic and cultural shift as dramatic as that of the Industrial Revolution. (OK, it doesn't take a genius, or even a politician, to figure out that big changes are afoot when we have a medium that lets someone throw up a virtual storefront on the Web and instantly gain access to the global market.) ~Steven Levy, 1997

The Internet is a shallow and unreliable electronic repository of dirty pictures, inaccurate rumors, bad spelling and worse grammar, inhabited largely by people with no demonstrable social skills. ~Author Unknown

We have technology, finally, that for the first time in human history allows people to really maintain rich connections with much larger numbers of people. ~Pierre Omidyar

America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat rooms. I can see why: you've got computer sex, you can download pornography, people are making dates with 10-year-olds. Hey, what's this? A Pepsi ad? They're ruining the integrity of the Internet! ~Jay Leno

I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software incompatibility problems that, in terms of complexity, make the U.S. Tax Code look like Dr. Seuss. ~Dave Barry

Spending an evening on the World Wide Web is much like sitting down to a dinner of Cheetos... two hours later your fingers are yellow and you're no longer hungry, but you haven't been nourished. ~Clifford Stoll

Chances are, you now know that the marriage of the computer and the telephone is one of the century's seismic technical and economic developments. In terms of potential social and economic impact, it is often likened to the introduction of assembly-line manufacturing or to the invention of the computer itself. ~Author Unknown

As the most participatory form of mass speech yet developed, the Internet deserves the highest protection from government intrusion. ~Stewart Dalzell

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Last modified 2019 May 12 Sun 11:47 PDT

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