The Quote Garden ™
Quotations about Men's Facial Hair:
Mustaches, Beards, Goatees, Whiskers,
Movember, Shaving, Razors, etc.
I've had requests for quotations on mustaches and although I already had several scattered on various pages, I didn't feel I had quite enough for an entire page on its own. And there's not much out there on the Web either, despite the latest hipster mustache trend — just a couple of silly one-liners, for the most part. So I decided to spend some time digging around in the old treasures of Google Books, and I found lots of writings about beards, mustaches, facial hair, and the like. So please enjoy, and Happy Movember! —tεᖇᖇ¡·g, October 2013
A man without a moustache is like a cup of tea without sugar. ~English proverb
A kiss without a moustache is like beef without mustard. ~Italian proverb
His face wore a pleasant expression; his lips parted in a smile beneath his budding mustache. ~M. E. M. David, 1895
But, to a brave man, honour is dearer than life; and to the major, his whiskers were dearer than honour itself! ~Cassio, "Memoir of a Pair of Whiskers," 1834
You're a model gentleman... Bon jour, Seigneur Don Monsieur Moustache Whiskerando! ~May Agnes Fleming, 1875
Moustaches resemble a problem of geometry worked on the cheek with a piece of charcoal. ~Richard Doe, 1855
If you’re ever in a jam, a crayon scrunched up under your nose makes a good pretend mustache. ~"Phil’s-osophy" by Phil Dunphy [Modern Family, "Schooled," S4, E2, 2012, written by Steven Levitan & Dan O’Shannon]
Double cappuccino, half-caff, nonfat milk, with just enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing but not so much that it leaves a moustache. ~Frasier, "A Mid-Winter Night's Dream" [S1, E17, 1994, Niles], written by Chuck Ranberg & Anne Flett-Giordano
I moustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later. ~Internet meme, c.2012
Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody because, it's really, it's an interesting mustache, and now nobody can wear it. ~Curb Your Enthusiasm, "Larry vs. Michael J. Fox" [S8, E10, 2011, Larry], writing credits David, Berg, Mandel, & Schaffer
Our French professor is simply a darling. His moustache would give you kerwollops of the heart. ~L. M. Montgomery, 1908
It was hard to tell in what the charm lay. It might have been in the moustache, or at least a woman might have said so, for we believe all women have a failing for handsome moustaches. ~Sue Chestnutwood, 1868
But, do you know it hadn't occurred to me that a man's beard was really part of him. It always seemed to me that men wore their beards, like they wear their neckties, for show. ~D. H. Lawrence, 1925
For a healthy beard, be sure to brush it daily and take it for a walk every evening. ~BeardGuru.com
You can measure time in days, weeks, months, or beards. ~Author unknown
Wast thou not yesterday a boy, and we had never even dreamt of this beard coming? How did this accursed thing spring up, covering with hair all that was so pretty before? Heavens! what a marvel! ~Strato of Sardis
I should lay out exactly a half-acre of whiskers, in the form of a triangle, leaving to nature that sweet little bunch of hair over the chin, so poetically denominated a goatee. Goatees are the admiration of ladies — the poetry of hair. No wonder they love them, they can pull and twist them so bewitchingly. Goatees are the handle of the head. Hurrah for the handles! ~Richard Doe, 1855
Young ladies don't like goatees. There are sweeter things in the gift of Cupid than being run in the neck with a whisk-broom. ~Williston Fish, 1886
The scissors cut the long-grown hair;
The razor scrapes the remnant fuzz.
Small-jawed, weak-chinned, big-eyed, I stare
At the forgotten boy I was.
~John Updike (1932–2009), "Upon Shaving Off One's Beard"
The barber learns to shave at the beards of fools. ~Italian proverb
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet. Men will buy this razor. Men can get into shaving, because it reminds them of what stud hombres they are, having to tame their manliness on a regular basis. ~Dave Barry, 1992
I'm not growing a beard — I'm just too lazy to shave. ~Internet meme
Original post date 2013 October 2nd
Last modified 2020 Jan 14 Tue 14:30 PST