The Quote Garden ™
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Quotations about Puns
It may be as well to observe, however, that just as the goodness of your true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability, so is nonsense the essential sense of the Marginal Note. ~Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia, 1844
A pun is a short quip followed by a long groan. ~Author unknown
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. ~Fred Allen
Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water. ~Dave Barry, "Why Humor Is Funny"
Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words, which passing in at the ears, and falling upon the diaphragma, excites a titillary motion in those parts, and this being conveyed by the animal spirits into the muscles of the face, raises the cockles of the heart. ~Jonathan Swift, "Ars Pun-ica, sive Flos Linguarum; The Art of Punning; or, The Flower of Languages"
I never knew an enemy of puns who was not an ill-natured man. A pun is a noble thing per se; it fills the mind, it is as perfect as a sonnet. May my last breath be drawn through a pipe and exhaled as a pun. ~Charles Lamb
Life and language are alike sacred. Homicide and verbicide—that is, violent treatment of a word with fatal results to its legitimate meaning, which is its life—are alike forbidden. Manslaughter, which is the meaning of the one, is the same as man's laughter, which is the end of the other. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809–1894), The Autocrat of the Breakfast-table
A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809–1894), The Autocrat of the Breakfast-table
Punning is a virtue that most effectually promotes the end of good fellowship, which is laughing. ~Jonathan Swift, "Ars Pun-ica, sive Flos Linguarum; The Art of Punning; or, The Flower of Languages"
A lurking pun is the worst pun, one the offender has been waiting to spring on you. ~Terri Guillemets
A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect. ~Charles Lamb, 1833
Rule 5. Any person may pun another man's puns about half an hour after he has made them, as Dr — and Mr — frequently do. I remember one day I was in company with them, and upon Major —'s saying, "That he would leave me the gout for a legacy;" I made answer, and told the company, "I should be sorry to have such a leg as he." They both snapped it up in their turns, and had as much applause for the pun as I had. ~Jonathan Swift, "Ars Pun-ica, sive Flos Linguarum; The Art of Punning; or, The Flower of Languages"
A man who could make so vile a pun would not scruple to pick a pocket. ~John Dennis, 1781
We put on a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. ~Author unknown
Rule 8. The Rule of Interruption. Although the company be engaged in a discourse of the most serious consequence, it is, and may be lawful to interrupt them with a pun. ~Jonathan Swift, "Ars Pun-ica, sive Flos Linguarum; The Art of Punning; or, The Flower of Languages"
Vincent is the only punster I ever knew with a good heart. No action to that race in general is so serious an occupation as the play upon words; and the remorseless habit of murdering a phrase, renders them perfectly obdurate... ~Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803–1873), Pelham; or, The Adventures of a Gentleman, 1828
Rule 11. The Rule of Repetition. You must never let a pun be lost, but repeat, and comment upon it, till every one in the company both hears and understands it. ~Jonathan Swift, "Ars Pun-ica, sive Flos Linguarum; The Art of Punning; or, The Flower of Languages"
A good pun is its own reword. ~Author unknown
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs — they always take them literally. ~Internet meme
Rule 21. The Rule of Concatenation, is making a string of puns as fast as you can, that no body else can put in a word 'till you have exhausted the subject. ~Jonathan Swift, "Ars Pun-ica, sive Flos Linguarum; The Art of Punning; or, The Flower of Languages"
If I were punished for every pun I shed, I should not have a puny shed in which to rest my punish'd 'ead. ~Theodore Hook
The man who never has been known to pun
Will groan to point out he's a judge of one.
Where the common people appreciate puns and often make them, one may safely take it that the nation is of a very high order of culture. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742–1799), translated by Norman Alliston, 1908
No man or woman should indulge in the habit of coining puns, for it debases the currency of language. ~Holmes
People who make puns are like wanton boys that put coppers on the railroad tracks. They amuse themselves and other children, but their little trick may upset a freight train of conversation for the sake of a battered witticism. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table, 1858
Rule 25. The Etymological Rule, is when a man hunts a pun through every letter and syllable of a word... ~Jonathan Swift, "Ars Pun-ica, sive Flos Linguarum; The Art of Punning; or, The Flower of Languages"
I'm an incorrigible punster. Do not incorrige me. ~Author unknown
[P]uns are the highest form of humor. ~Edgar Dale, "What Is English For?", 1957
The pun is the lowest form of wit. ~Samuel Johnson
If the pun is the lowest form of wit, then it is the foundation of wit. ~Goldsmith
A pun is the lowest form of humor — when you don't think of it first. ~Oscar Levant
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. ~Doug Larson
The pun is the lowest form of humor, and the punster the lowest form of wit. ~Evan Esar
A pun is a form of wit without humor. A pun is a form of humor that goes over with a groan. A pun is the lowest form of humor, especially when the laugh is on you. ~Evan Esar
Puns are the last refuge of the witless. ~Samuel Johnson
For my own part I think no innocent species of wit or pleasantry should be suppressed: and that a good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation. ~James Boswell, 1784
In the pun, two strings of thought are tangled into one acoustic knot. ~Arthur Koestler
Last modified 2019 May 13 Mon 10:37 PDT